Raging Seas (A Rowan Gray Mystery Book 9) Page 9
“I’m sorry for all of it. I didn’t know I was going to fall apart like that.”
He moved his hands to the back of her neck. “Nobody is perfect all the time. Even you.” His smile was rueful as he brushed his lips over her temple. “You’re going to be okay. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
“I think I’m done puking. You don’t have to worry about me.”
It was too late for that. Quinn loved her with his whole heart. The fear gripping him by the throat was real ... and altogether overwhelming. They couldn’t risk a heavy discussion tonight, though. She was drunk and he was emotionally overwrought. It would have to wait.
“You should drink some water and brush your teeth. Then we’ll get you settled in bed.”
“Okay.” She rolled her neck. “I really am sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He meant it. “It’s not the end of the world. In fact, maybe the Phoenix Society folks think you’re a drunk and don’t want you now. It’s a different approach than I would’ve picked but it’s still mildly interesting to see how they’ll react.”
“At least you’re looking on the bright side of things.”
“There is that.”
QUINN DIDN’T THINK HE WOULD MANAGE even five minutes of sleep. He was wrong. Not long after getting her tucked in on her side, the garbage bin on the floor in case she needed it, she slid into slumber. He curled around her, determined to keep her close, and assumed he would stare at the wall the entire night. Instead, her steady breathing lulled him. The feel of her heart against his reminded him she was safe ... at least for now. Before he realized what was happening, he’d drifted off.
He didn’t wake again until the sun was shining through the window. Then, one look at Rowan’s confused eyes as she rubbed her forehead and made faces told him all he needed to know. Things were about to get turbulent on The Bounding Storm.
“My head is killing me,” Rowan complained, rolling to a sitting position and rubbing her forehead. “I haven’t felt this bad since college. Ugh.”
Quinn stretched his arms over his head, his back popping as he worked out a few kinks. He wasn’t used to sleeping in the position he was forced all night — generally she rested her head on his shoulder and they wrapped themselves around one another a different way — and he was afraid his back was going to stiffen up throughout the day. “I’ll get you some water and Advil,” he offered, sliding his legs from beneath the covers. “Just ... wait there.”
He took his time in the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, stared at his reflection, and then gathered the items she needed. When he returned, he found her in the exact same position. She was obviously hurting.
“Here, sweetie.” He shuffled to the bed and handed her the water and tablets. “Swallow all of it.”
Rowan did as instructed without a single complaint. When she was finished, she turned a set of red-rimmed eyes to him and offered up a lame apology. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to disappoint you the way I did last night.”
She remembered that much of their conversation, Quinn realized. She probably didn’t remember much, but that she couldn’t shake. It made him unhappy. “You didn’t disappoint me.” That was the truth. He’d worked out a lot of his angst in his dreams and he was determined to fix things between them. “I know you were going through a lot.”
“You do?” She furrowed her brow. “How do you know?”
It was time to put all their cards on the table. “Because I found this.” He retrieved the letter she’d left him from the nightstand and held it up for her inspection. “I can’t believe you were going to say goodbye to me in a letter.”
Rowan balked, horrified. “How did you find that?”
“I was looking for pajamas for you last night. I saw the letter in the drawer.”
“And you read it? That was a private letter.”
“With my name on it.”
“Yeah, but ... .” Rowan trailed off. She honestly had no idea what she was supposed to say to him. “I’m sorry.” The words were insufficient, weak. “I’m so sorry. I freaked out. I had to check myself ... and then I had to check you because you were in that photo with me. You’re safe, though. I’m the only one who is going to die. You’re safe.” She grabbed his hand and gave it a solid squeeze.
“Is that what you think I’m worried about?” Quinn asked, incredulous. “Do you think I’m worried about myself?”
“Of course not. It’s just ... you’re going to be okay. That’s probably not a great comfort to you right now, but it is to me. You’re going to be okay. That’s actually the most important thing in the world to me.”
He ran his tongue over his teeth as he debated how to respond. “Rowan, I’m really angry at you right now,” he said finally. “I mean ... so angry. Despite that, I still love you more than anything. I need you to know that in case I start yelling and it frightens you.
“Nothing in this world is ever going to drag me from you,” he continued. “You and I belong together. It’s not going to change. However, all that being said, I’m so mad at you right now I can hardly see straight.”
Rowan balked. “I ... you ... .”
He bobbed his head in understanding. “You know why I’m angry, don’t you?”
Her eyes filled with morose regret. “You’re mad because I didn’t tell you.”
“Well, at least I don’t have to explain it.”
“I was going to tell you,” she protested after a beat. “I had it all planned out in my head. I was going to wait until after dinner so you wouldn’t accidentally snap and stab Spencer in the throat with a fork. I thought it was best to wait.”
“Which put you in danger because I wasn’t aware what was going on.”
Rowan turned sheepish. “I didn’t really think about it that way. I was just trying to survive the night.”
On the surface, Quinn understood that. That didn’t make her reaction okay. “Why did you write the letters if you were going to tell me?” he challenged, determined to get everything out in the open.
“Because ... because ... .” Rowan looked pained as she regrouped. “Because I wasn’t sure I was going to tell you right away. You have to understand, I was stunned when Darcy showed me the photo. I didn’t know what to do. I had to get away from her, and I retreated to the room.”
“I don’t have a problem with that,” Quinn practically exploded. “The room was the safest place for you. That was smart. The letters were not.”
“I was in shock I think. Maybe just a little. I took a bunch of photos of myself and then started to think what your life would be like without me. I knew you would be upset, grieve hard. You would be alive, though. Eventually you would be able to move on.”
Quinn’s eyes filled with fire. “You are an idiot if you think I would ever move on from you. When I said you were it for me, I meant it. There will never be anyone else.”
“You can’t know that.” Rowan opted to be practical. “Sure, you feel that now, but you’ll move on eventually. You’ll find someone else to fill the hole in your heart.”
“No, I won’t.” Quinn was adamant. “There will never be anyone for me but you. That’s hardly the conversation we should be focusing on right now, though. Keep in mind, we will discuss it later. You’d better prepare yourself.
“I want to know why you didn’t tell me the second you realized you were in danger,” he pressed. “Did you think I wouldn’t care?”
“I knew you would care. I simply wasn’t sure you would be able to do anything about it and, if I only had a few hours or days left, I wanted to spend them with you being happy instead of constantly looking over my shoulder.”
Quinn opened his mouth, something particularly spiteful on the tip of his tongue. Her words hurt worse than anything else she could’ve said. In a weird way, though, he understood the sentiment. “You didn’t want us to be sad if it was really the end.”
“No. I never want you to be sad. It’s just ... if I only have twenty-four
hours left, would you rather spend that time laughing in the sun or crying in this room?”
He tilted his head, considering. “I would rather you not have only twenty-four hours,” he shot back finally. “I want you to have decades with me.”
“I want that, too. What if it’s not reality, though? What if this is it and there’s nothing you can do to stop it?”
“I don’t accept that.” Quinn folded his arms across his chest and glared. “I don’t accept that you’re destined to die. I think you can see the omens because you’re meant to change things.
“I don’t want to put the weight of the world on your shoulders because it’s not fair, but I always believe we have a chance to change things,” he continued. “As for this, I swear to you, I won’t let anything happen to you. I mean it. I will protect you with my dying breath.”
Rowan’s heart gave a terrific leap. “I know. I don’t want you to die, though. If you were to sacrifice yourself for me, it would be a wasted effort. Once you’re gone I won’t want to continue.”
“Don’t say that.” He made a face. “I don’t want to hear you say that.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s what you just said to me,” she countered, her practical side taking over. “Didn’t you just say you won’t ever move on from me? I feel the same way about you.”
He hated that she had a point. He was feeling so righteous in his anger and indignation that he wanted to win every argument today. Instead, he reached for her and drew her to his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her as she burrowed her face into the hollow between his neck and shoulder.
“This is not the scenario I thought we would be facing,” he admitted after several moments of quiet. “I understand now the fear that your father has been living under. This is why he wanted you to run. I’m still wondering if that’s what we should do when we hit El Demonio. We can flee the ship, go into hiding, and no one will ever find us.”
Rowan frowned as she immediately started shaking her head. “No. You were right. I don’t want to live in hiding.”
Usually being right put Quinn in a better mood. “I would rather live in hiding than lose you.”
“No, you wouldn’t.” Rowan was matter-of-fact. “You say that now, but living in hiding would kill us. Our relationship wouldn’t survive. We need to end this on the terms you already laid out. That’s what we agreed to.”
“That was before, though. I can’t lose you.” Quinn was earnest. “I need you with me forever.”
She went warm all over at the simple statement. “I need you, too. We’re going to have to figure this out if we expect to make things work, though. We can’t go into hiding. We have a team in place here. We need to combat things from an aggressive standpoint, not be afraid that something horrible is going to happen if we make the wrong move.
“I believe we can fix this,” she continued with conviction. “I believe that as long as we’re together, we can always fix this. I don’t want to back away now.”
He let loose a world-weary sigh and pushed her hair away from her face so he could stare directly into her eyes. “You have to let me protect you,” he growled. “No matter what, you can’t be alone going forward. It’s the only thing I know to do. You might not like it but it’s what both of us need.”
She thought about arguing. It was a moot point, though. He was absolutely right. There was nothing else they could do but join together and fight what was to come. There was no guarantee she would survive either way. This was their best option.
“Okay.” She rested her forehead against his as he rocked her back and forth. “We’ll do this together.”
“No more secrets,” he stressed.
“I was going to tell you.”
“I don’t know that you were. I get it. These are not going to be our final hours, though. I won’t let anyone take you from me. It took me forever to find you. It took me a little longer to realize I even wanted to find you. We’ve only just begun, sweetie. I will not let anyone ruin what we’ve built. You have my word on that.”
She believed him with her whole heart. “I wrote the letters just in case something happened before I could tell you. I did plan to tell you.”
“Well, good. I would hate to think you didn’t trust me enough to tell the truth.”
“I trust you more than anybody.”
“Right back at you.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “I love you, Rowan. You’re the love of my life. You always will be.”
“I feel the same way about you,” she said on a sob.
He kissed her again. “It’s you and me forever.”
“Okay.” Her voice was thick with tears. “You and me forever.”
“I just need you to do one thing for me.”
Her eyes glimmered with tears as she held his gaze. “Anything.”
“Brush your teeth. I can’t keep kissing you until you don’t smell like vomit and that’s all I want to do.”
She was horrified. “Oh, my ... I’m so sorry.” She scrambled toward the bathroom and then pinned him with a serious look. “You should’ve said something sooner.”
He couldn’t stop himself from laughing at her baffled expression. “Live and learn, sweetie.”
10
Ten
Quinn called a meeting in the conference room next to his office. It was the only place he could be assured that no one would overhear the very serious conversation that was about to transpire. Paul showed concern when he saw Rowan. Even though she’d showered, eaten breakfast, and did her best to hide the circles under her eyes, it was clear she’d had a rough night.
“What’s wrong?” He crossed to her immediately, worry etched across his features. “Did something happen?”
Quinn regarded the man with compassionate eyes. What he had to say wasn’t going to be easy to hear. “I have something to tell you, and not a lot of time. I thought about cutting Dave and the other guys out of this meeting for reasons that will become obvious, but we need them.”
He gestured toward the table. “Sit.”
“I don’t like the sound of this,” Nick grumbled as he sat. “Why do I think things are about to go from bad to worse?”
“Because they are,” Quinn replied simply, pulling out a chair so Rowan could sit. He wasn’t surprised when Paul took the seat immediately to her left. He was a father and he sensed trouble for his only child. “Okay, here’s the thing ... .”
Quinn launched into the tale, leaving nothing out. He had to backtrack a few times to explain about Rowan’s ability to those who weren’t in the know. They’d discussed their approach while getting ready in the room. Ultimately, Quinn felt the best chance for her survival was to keep everyone abreast of the situation. Rowan was nervous but agreed. Ultimately, if she died, it wouldn’t matter who knew what. If she managed to survive, she would be so grateful she would simply overlook the potential ramifications.
Paul was already on his feet by the time Quinn finished. “We’re out of here.” He grabbed Rowan’s hand and attempted to tug her out of the chair. “We’re leaving right now.”
Quinn arched a challenging eyebrow. “Really? Where do you think you’re going? We’re in the middle of the ocean.”
“We’ll leave on an emergency raft. Nick has a satellite phone that can be used anywhere. He’ll call for someone to rescue us. It’s the best thing. We’ll simply disappear.”
There were times Quinn felt as if he were banging his head against a brick wall when talking to Paul. The man was set in his ways. He ran in the first place because he was convinced it was the only way to keep Rowan safe from these people. He regretted the decision, ached for the child he left behind, but fear was a huge motivator. Paul couldn’t see beyond his, and Quinn found it frustrating.
“You’re not taking her on a rescue raft,” Quinn replied, firm. “I mean ... for all we know, that’s how she dies.”
“Hold up.” Dave waved his hand to get everybody’s attention. “Are you being serious about thes
e omens? I mean ... is this real?”
“It’s very real,” Quinn confirmed, sparing a quick glance for Fred, who appeared thoughtful more than anxious. “The most important thing is keeping Rowan safe. That means she can’t be alone even for a moment.”
“That’s going to make going to the bathroom an adventure for her,” Fred quipped. “I volunteer for all those duties.”
Quinn scorched his friend with a dark look. “Really?”
“Just trying to lighten the mood.”
“Well, we’re not feeling light.” Quinn rubbed his hand over the top of his short-cropped hair. He’d kept it close to the skin since he joined the military. Today was the first day he missed having something to pull. “She cannot be alone in a public bathroom. There are private employee bathrooms throughout the ship. She can use those. Someone needs to make sure she gets inside and out without anyone jumping her, though.”
Rowan heaved out a sigh as she pictured the scenario he was describing. “That doesn’t sound invasive or anything.”
Quinn slid her a sidelong look. “We talked about this. You agreed.”
“I know. It’s just a lot to absorb. I’m on board. I made a promise and I plan to stick to it.”
“So what’s the plan?” Nick queried. “Other than watching her every second of the day, what should we be doing to eradicate the threat?”
“We have to assume that the threat is coming from the Phoenix Society,” Quinn replied. “They’re the obvious choice. However, that being said, I do not want to overlook the possibility that she could be in danger for a different reason. I mean, for all we really know, she could trip and hit her head or something. We need to be hyper-vigilant.”
“We can’t crowd her,” Dave noted. “If we do that, it will be over before we even start. Those society peeps will know something is up if she suddenly has an obvious shadow. We have to watch her but still maintain distance.”
“We do,” Quinn agreed. “The last thing we want is for those people to temporarily retreat and then return with a crew we can’t identify. I still want someone watching her at all times. She’s also agreed to make sure she sticks in highly-populated areas. If one of the Phoenix Society representatives tries to isolate her, she’ll call out to one of you or to me on the phone. It’s the best plan I can come up with.”